Speech patterns

I mentioned that I would talk about this subject, and it is something which I have an interest in: speech patterns. In particular, how people react to some types of speech patterns.

Personally, I prefer to use a slightly more formal speech pattern right now, though I would love to use a more royal or humble third-person pattern if I could get into the habit of doing so.

However, therein lies a problem. While I see many people who accept such unusual speech patterns, in reality, a large portion of people tend to be rather put-off by concepts such as third-person speech, especially in face-to-face discussions. Some see it as archaic, others fetish-like, and yet others see it as just odd or weird.

For example, this is a use of royal third person, from a single person:

“We do certainly enjoy socializing with others. After all, it is necessary for our mental health.”

Now, imagine hearing this in a face-to-face conversation. For many people, the first example would likely spur thoughts that the person speaking is very uppity or stuffy, viewing themselves above everyone else―whether or not this is the case.

Now, an example of use of humble third person:

“This one enjoys socializing with others. This one’s mental health needs it.”

For the second example, many would think that the person speaking may have been abused, or is mentally or socially awkward―and again, this is regardless of whether or not it is true.

This is something that I have never understood. From my experience, people tend to make too many assumptions without asking questions to verify, but when I question that behaviour, people are generally either unwilling to answer, or simply do not know why they make such assumptions. The few who do answer tell me that it is due to how they were taught, or just how they learned to behave.

I have also noticed a related trend that is saddening: people being treated poorly for asking questions about why someone speaks the way they do. In my opinion, this is possibly the real reason people make assumptions in place of asking questions. Defensive people become hostile in certain situations, and unfortunately, because of past experiences, some will become hostile if questions are asked.

Regardless, it would make for a rather awkward social situation in my home area if I were to speak how I truly wish I could. Saying “this one would like a cheeseburger” or (while alone) “we would like a cheeseburger” while at a restaurant would cause quite a few stares. Being unable to understand Mexican Spanish causes almost as many stares at this point, which would be a fair comparison for those who live in southern Texas.

Using a true royal accent―akin to Luna’s Canterlot accent from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic―would be completely out of the question, no matter how much I would want to use it, simply due to the fact that it would likely have me sent away from most establishments, or at least laughed out of them. That is simply the world we live in today, though.

So, what should I do? I do not know at this point. It is something which can only be answered by a change in society.